24 Biscuit Puns from Misery Biscuits


Days are getting tough in the office at the moment as we all work towards to culmination of a rather sizeable project. This stress, combined with a carb deplete for me, I felt had made me a little short, though it turned out the team hadn’t noticed.

Anyway, to say sorry and to buoy up the team, I bought them some biscuits and sent out the following email.

We all have so much to do,
But don’t get angry and don’t be blue.
With the new website there is so much to fix,
So cheer yourself up with some merry biscuits.

Can you see why I work in content? I think I should be writing greetings cards.

My carb deplete has left me more than a little frustrated this week. So, I bring gifts of biscuits. Enjoy!

I could never have anticipated the response I would receive; email after email of biscuit puns. So here they all are, for your enjoyment.

*Please note, I have changed the names so we don’t get in to trouble for wasting company time*

1. Roll with it

You’re on a fig roll Jo.

2. We all have our favourites

From Anna

You are now my favourite member of the team!

Bob responds

Anna, you should have said favourite member of the Club. Opportunity missed

3. Almost makes sense

Treacle chips in

Or you should have said you were going to p-p-p-pick up a biscuit.

4. Sick days suck!

I’m afraid I’ll have to pass after I was off sick Tuesday with some “digestive” problems

5. Thanks for playing

Steve gets involved

Sorry, but I can’t think of any biscuit puns; I’m as thick as custard cream.

6.  Crumbs!

Nica replies

Ah Steve… That’s just the way the cookie crumbles

7. Ouch!

Bob fires back

That’s rich tea coming from you, Nica

8. Right back at ya!

Nica’s not done

Bob you’re such a hobnob!

9. Now the intern’s getting involved

Oreo no! She went there! Are you going to take that Bob?!

10. Back again

Back to Bob

You can always ‘viscount’ on Nica not to be very ‘nice’

11. A pun?

We are all “jammy dodgers” aren’t we!

Thanks Jo

12. Some confusion

Pink wafers

There was then some confusion over what was a waffle and what was a wafer and whether or not a waffle counted.

We should stop ‘’waffle’’ing and actually do some work now!

But these are most definitely pink WAFERS!

13. Defensive

I personally thought that was a ‘’cracker’’

14. & 15. Dubious

At this point the less creative members of the team just started Googling any old biscuit.

Come on now; we’ve had our Jolly – we don’t want this to end in a Barny!


16. Which they couldn’t get away with

God, were really picking at the crumbs now!

17. Some felt it was wearing a little thin

We’re getting stuck between a Rocky and a hard place.

18. & 19 Should we keep going?

Are we done yet? Amaretti for more biscuit puns if you guys have um?

Or have you had bourbon you can handle?

20. Should we?

Has the wagon wheels fallen off of this thread now?

21. -24. Multi-packed

This is getting a bit Thins; but if anyone can do any Butter, then Go ahead – but Bisquick! Tru.

Got any more biscuit puns that we may have missed? I’d love to hear them.


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