First Date Don’ts


I’m writing this post from my own experience to give you some first date tips. I hope you find it useful. Please feel free to add you own advice in the comments section.

It’s been almost 3 weeks since the date now and he hasn’t called (he’s a caller not a texter) and therefore I don’t think I’m shooting myself in the foot by posting this. Plus, I’m kind of a bit ‘meh’ about the fact he didn’t call.

So, a few Sunday’s ago I went on a date with a guy from Match.com. I’ve been on a few dates recently, not all via online dating, but this one was. The date had already been rearranged from the previous Thursday, but I really wasn’t bothered about this. The man in question had called me several times and was really easy to talk to on the phone. During the first conversation he talked a lot. Usually I’m the talker, but I didn’t think it was a problem that he had a lot to say for himself. We shared common interests, but disagreed on other topics, such as shooting Bambi, however, I didn’t see this as a problem either. I think those kind of clashes are all part of a healthy relationship.

However, the date was not a hit. It fact it was one of the few first dates that’s actually had that was really bad and therefore I thought I’d write down a few things that I don’t think people should do on their first dates:

Don’t have first dates on a Sunday

For me, Sunday nights are about chilling with friends and getting ready for the week ahead. If you drink, fine, and on dates, I do, but I’m less inclined to drink on a Sunday. I think Wednesday and Thursday date nights are the best. It’s close enough to the end of the week for people to be a bit more chilled out. Fridays and Saturdays you probably have plans and Monday and Tuesday is still too work focused.

Don’t question your date’s hair colour

Yes, I dye my hair. It’s pretty close to natural, but I’ve been dying it so long that I don’t know what colour it is. I don’t think it’s massively obvious, though apparently I might be wrong. Still, this isn’t a first date topic.

Men, don’t insist on buying all the drinks

I know that Jake Gyllenhaal says in Love and Other Drugs that ‘no one got laid by going Dutch,’ and this might totally be a personal preference, but if I say I’m buying the next round, I’m buying the next round. I dated a guy that insisted on paying for everything. It set the tone for the whole (brief) relationship, and while I few free meals, it wasn’t worth him constantly acting like he had the control. Some women want looking after though, so I guess it’s about reading your audience.

Don’t have your phone out on the table

Yep, I’m guilty of checking my phone and texting a girl-friend when I nip to the loo, but to have your phone out and be checking it during a date? I’d rather you just got up and left. If  it’s for work, if you’re a doctor, firefighter or some other profession that requires you to be easily contactable, then that’s fine, but when you’re texting your housemate to confirm you’re bringing home Chinese? Come on, do the decent thing and either put the phone away or be honest that you’re not feeling it and go home.

Don’t spend the last 45mins hinting you want to leave

For the last 45mins of the date, my date banged on about how much laundry he had to get done for the next day. This was right after he’d bought another round. He finished his drink rather quickly and sat glaring at mine. Why buy the last drink?

Casual racism is not OK

Do I need to explain this? I’m never a fan of racism, but it’s most ill-placed on a first date – come on!

I’ll concede that this guy wasn’t that in to me and other than he was rather cute*I wasn’t that fussed on him either, but I really think he could have behaved better. I don’t agree with The Naked Redhead that if it’s not going well you should state that you’re getting more of a ‘friend vibe’ and leave. You can enjoy the company of another person for a few hours and reach a natural conclusion. I got a hug and a generic ‘we should do this again’ at the end of the date. But I had no intention of repeating the experience.

Anyone else had any horrific first dates or have any tips to help people on theirs?

* He had some adorable facial expressions, like when I told him about my racy cheese dreams. He’s had the kind of physical attractiveness that you’d probably see him for a few weeks, but you wouldn’t have a relationship with him (have to thank SVP for that reference).

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