You’ve got to have some rules of response on PlentyOfFish. You’re going to get a lot of rubbish, so setting out your own guidelines means you can just delete messages and block people, tut and remark to yourself “they should have known better” if that’s the path you choose. Don’t divulge your rules, you know, just have them for yourself.
Mine are as follows:
1. Everyone Deserves A Response
This isn’t technically true. Some people would have made a better impression if they just sent a happy doodle of an owl, but for now, it’s my rule. So whether it’s an essay or just an emoticon, you’ll get something from me. There are no clauses about tact as part of this rule though, sadly for some.
2. Teach & Educate
People are on this site to find love (or attention or sex). I feel it is my duty to let them know where they are going wrong. Whether they admit it or not, some people will take your advice and we can all go away a little enriched from the experience.
3. No Kisses…
…Unless I’d actually give you a kiss. I’m not massively tactile, so a peck on the cheek is a little too intimate for me with someone I don’t know.
4. I Will Not Add You On Facebook
I tell men I won’t add them on Facebook because I work in Social Media, but really it’s because I just don’t want to. It’s odd to add prospective dates, it’s too intimate and there are things on there that a potential match should just not see prior to meeting.
…If you send me a picture of your penis, rule 1 still applies and I will be disparaging of it. I told one guy that his looked sad and dusty.
Had fun reading your blog there. I found it by using google to look for information on the date feedback form at POF.
Thought I would reply to this entry just from my personal experiences.
Dont bother giving everyone a response its a waste of time, yours and mine. I mail you then you mail me back as far as I am concerned that means you are initially interested. I then go to the trouble of sending you a second message which you might reply to. If you are not interested dont reply. As far as I see it no reply equals not interested. I can live with that. If you do feel you have to reply maybe make it a polite no thanks though Ive been told this can lead to nasty replies.
Let people know where they are going wrong? Maybe you are just not compatible. I wouldent dream of sending someone my feedback on their message. I am interested I reply if I am not I dont. Someone else might love what they say. Again this goes back to POF being a dating site, dont waste your time with side lines and messages that are not getting you anywhere.
No kiss’s. Bit strict! In the era of text talk even my male friends put kiss’s on the end of their texts to me! I think things just become habbit I wouldent read much into it.
Facebook. Some do some dont. Some ladies like it as a security measure to see you are in fact who you say you are. Ive added people prior to meeting. Must say the first girl I ever met from POF her Facebook horrified me. Pub pub pub and more pub. We did meet we did date for about three months. I only ever saw her once on a weekend the other weekends she was always down the pub. A lesson was learnt there though we are still friends.
Penis picture! Dont get those being a man and not yet had a vagina picture, still waiting.
Keep up the Blogging
Thank you for replying. It’s really useful to see things from a man’s perspective. It’s probably not the kindest thing to let people know where they’re going wrong and some people just weren’t my type, but I do think that there are some common mistakes that people make (mainly with photos) that could be avoided and improve their chances.
Anyway, I haven’t been blogging for a while, but about 6 months I met a guy on Plenty of Fish and we’ve been dating ever since. So, I guess I did something right.
Jo x (I noticed you put one, breaking a rule!)