Puzzling Male Behaviour – Can any man shed any light on this?


I learned today, through an acquaintance, that I guy I went on a date with a few months ago now has a girlfriend. My response?

“Oh well, there we go.”

I’m not even sure what I meant by that. I was trying to come across as indifferent, because that’s exactly what I am, so I hope I conveyed that. Yes, I’d like to know why he seemed so keen to arrange a second date only not to confirm it the night before, but I certainly wasn’t going to ask his friend that.

I didn’t care about him, I did care about how he’d reacted to dating. It’s just another puzzling behaviour exhibited by men I’ve been meeting lately. It’s plausible that he’d met someone else or maybe someone he already knew, and maybe liked, had made a move in the time between the first and second date, it could be the girl he’s with now, which, you know, is great news for him, but why not just text me and tell me as much.

But hey, our actual date was better than that guy who spent the whole of our date texting his housemate about takeaway; so cute, but so rude!

You’re never going to click with everyone you date, but is that any reason not to exercise courtesy and politeness? Surely it’s bad relationship karma (oh goodness, Carrie Bradshaw alert).

Anyway, I don’t think this dating lark is for me. The last guy I fell for big time, I was totally indifferent about when I first met him, even missing his 30th birthday. The man before that I flirted with because I was bored at work and the bloke before that I thought was a completely arrogant, idiot, meat-head jock type for a whole semester at university (first impressions aren’t always wrong).

But then there are the other guys, who seem all too frequent currently. There seems to be a worrying trend of making it apparent you have a girlfriend, but carrying on as if you didn’t divulge that information. It’s like once you’ve imparted this fact it’s no longer your problem, your baggage, your issue.

I know there are girls out there that believe you should never go there with another girl’s man. I’m not here to debate that. I do not believe that women should stand by each other in these circumstances. If you’re my buddy, I won’t hit on a bloke you’ve shot-gunned, but if I don’t know you, it’s not my moral dilemma and I’m pretty certain you don’t want a faithful boyfriend by default, i.e. just because no one will say ‘yes’ to him (if we’re living by some unenforceable women’s code) doesn’t make him a saint. I’m struggling to think of a good analogy. I can’t.

I feel like I’ve gone off point somewhere here…any comments?

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