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Made in Chelsea Commentary: Episode 3, Series 8 – Alik Cheats, but probably not!

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I’ve been wanting to do this all along with Made in Chelsea, but well, who has the time? Anyway, here goes my commentary from series 8, episode 3. Bonus points if I can get one or more of the cast to comment on this – unlikely, I know.

Throughout this post I’ll be adding in comments that were made by myself and my buddy Laura via Whatsapp. We used to live together and watch this, but annoying geography means we have to watch this apart and comment via Whatsapp. The plus side is I still have all our sarcasm contained within my phone, so I can share it.

So, this episode saw Alik being accused of kissing a girl that wasn’t Louise, Binky’s psychoanalysis, Victoria’s attraction to a man of ambiguous sexual orientation, men acting like women (please no one take offense to that comment, this is a blog post about Made in Chelsea for goodness sake) and Spencer in a bobble hat. In fact there were a variety of hats this evening.

Where do I start? FYI I’m not going to give you a blow by blow account of what happened. You can watch on 4OD for that.

Alik Cheated?

To debate the Alik issue, you need to subscribe to the idea of this reality being one where Alik and Louise are actually together and in love, and not a reality where Louise is off sleeping with Niall from One Direction, amongst others (possibly). Alik, being a passionate Yank and probably a trained and paid actor (well, what else is he doing that he can fly half way across the world for an apparent undetermined amount of time?) is much better at convincing us of their supposed relationship status. The only way Louise is selling it to us is by looking genuinely pleased that she’s not been coupled with Spencer, who’s had a crack at most eligible and maybe some non-eligible lady toffs within the local vicinity, Andy, who I’m just failing to find a positive angle on this series, or that chap she had a cook-off with prior to New York who couldn’t be bothered with another series.

Did Alik cheat? In this world, I doubt it. That didn’t stop Binky weighing in and tarring all men with the same brush, based on her terrible and naive interactions with wonky-haired Alex. He hasn’t featured in person this series yet, though I think he makes a comeback next week. We’ll ignore him for now. Sadly, Binky, who used to be the best female character in terms of like-ability, is possible the worst person to go to currently regarding situations requiring speculation on the probability of a man cheating. If this were some sort of legal battle, she’d have a man hung, drawn and quartered before he’d even made it to the stand.

So, I believe Alik is innocent. Louise had forgiven him by the end of the episode, so I’m sure they’ll be no more mention of it…as if!

Other Comments

Being angry for being accused of something you didn’t do and having no way to prove otherwise is not a suspicious reaction, Binky. It’s a normal reaction. Alex was never angry. Alex cried, with regret or maybe something else, but not innocence.

Joking about behaving like you did in high school is not really that obscure a thing to joke about. Was it funny? Goodness knows. Is it bizarre. Nope. Jamie and Binky both decide this was a strange thing to joke about.

LOUISE, sort your ponytail out!

Lucy & Proudlock

So, Proudlock no longer has an off-screen girlfriend, therefore he must be attached to a member of cast. His potential burgeoning homo-confused (more than a) bromance with Stevie (Steven, Stefan, Steve, whatever) wasn’t enough, they’ve now thrown Lucy in to the mix. Lucy, who is not really making much of an effort in the appearance stakes. Sure, she’s still cute in the face, but dirty hair and baggy clothes are not what we want to see from our poshos. Is it me or has the wardrobe budget plummeted this series? Louise looked cheap all episode and while we’re back on Louise, sort out your ponytail! There is a fine line between tousled and lazy and you’re on the wrong side of it. Raise your game.

Anyway, the Lucy and Proudlock story line is just ridiculous.

Victoria & George (?)

Goodness, I can’t remember this chaps name. I think it’s George. Victoria and Mark Francis met him at the polo last week. We’ll call him George for now. Anyway, I’m sure I can’t be the only person that wasn’t sure if he was interested in Victoria or Mark Francis last week and this week didn’t make it any clearer. I have so many questions about the relatively short scene between them. Where were they? Were they in a restaurant? Why were there no other diners? Is that a posh thing to do? Why are riding, skiing and, most quizzically, swimming, the preserve of the rich?

The only way I want to see this develop is by Victoria falling for him, but him ultimately ending up with Mark Francis.

I think these are the salient points from the episode. Let me know what you thought. It’s an interesting programme and for all it improbable events and work-shy posh folk (how on Earth does the Candy Kittens business model work?).

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