The post, if you don’t want to go and read it, was about a girl who felt stuck in a rut, because she’d achieved the goals she’d set herself. She has a boyfriend, an apartment, a dog, a job she likes, but she is left with the feeling of ‘is this it?’
Sarah Von did her best to respond to this overly self-indulgent question, but it riled me. I wrote a comment back, but here’s what it got me thinking about:
Are the goals you’re aiming for really going to make you happy?
I don’t know if this is a feminist issue (referring to another of Sarah Von’s posts) or an indictment on society in general, but it’s a point I’ve noted increasingly lately and discussed at length with friends. Is job, mortgage, marriage, with a little travel, all any of us (male or female) are striving for these days? I have a mortgage, I have a good job, I travel to some awesome places, I don’t have a marriage or in fact boyfriend, though it’s definitely not the last goal that I need to check off my list, but maybe this is the only thing that’s fending off the listlessness. Mmm…it isn’t.
I’m not saying that any of these things are bad and I’m not anti the institution of marriage or against mortgages because they propogate the greed of banks or whatever; I work for a bank, I love it. I guess I’m just asking people (I have been asking the people around me) to really consider what really makes them happy. Will it be achieving all those tangibly quantifiable assets or is there something else? Are people allowing societal pressures/norms to dictate what they believe will make them happy or are they genuinely identifying what will make them happy and going and doing it? Quite frequently there is a disconnect between what you think should make you happy and what actually will.
In all honesty, my mortgage is a pain in the a*se, it might even be holding me back, and I don’t think having a man in my life at the moment would make anything less complicated or more enhanced (apart from the obvious things you need a man for).
I don’t think pawning your TV or changing your latte to a macchiato is the answer, I think broadening your horizons and questioning your expectations might be.
I think The Naked Redhead writes some awesome posts which, intentionally or not, feel like they challenge people’s expectations and assumptions. Check her out. She’s a little less grumpy than me.
I’m lucky that I’m not generally surrounded by people that judge me on my relationship status, job, salary, home ownership status. I’m not saying I’m the happiest, most content person ever, but I know the things that do make me smile and I know that achieving other things would be great, but won’t complete me.